30 December 2011

people say

take a listen.

jose vanders - faces going places. loveeeee this

charlotte x

in the city

today me and beth braved birmingham as a last minute thing. so at about 3 o'clock we got on the train and went on our way. we thought it might be best not to go for the topshop sales as people are like dogs to get what they want, and its always absolutely manic.

here's my purchases from today:

check shirt - £12 - cow vintage.
hoodie - £32 (20% off) - american apparel.
silk shirt - £10 (sale) - urban outfitters.

as well as what you can see, i also got a pale blue tshirt with 'harvard' on the front of it, for £6 from cow vintage. i love some of the stuff in there, but everytime i pick something up i just think to myself 'i could get this in a charity shop for at least half the price.' im forever after a bargain, i hate spending lots of money on one item of clothing. id rather get more for my money, seen as i have to pay for it all myself (due to having a job.) my mom nevers buys me anything anymore, its a very rare occasion, and i hate that fact.

other than that, i spent my morning in bed watching tv, made in chelsea in particular and lazing around a stupid amount.

feel a bit drained if im honest, still need to catch up on sleep. ive got four ulcers in my mouth; each and everyone absolutely kills me. its so hard to eat and its so frustrating. even talking is difficult on occasion :-( sobbbbbb.

happy new years eve, eve everyone. what are your plans for tomorrow? im off out for a meal with my boyfriend then im gonna chill and drinkkkkkkk some 'pop.'

hope you all make some good new years resolutions, im yet to think of mine. let me know what yours are, and have a happy new year whatever youre doing :-)

charlotte x

29 December 2011


after getting home from a day of shopping in telf, i made myself 2 bowls of porridge and then had to walk out the house again. waiting for a bus to work in the freezing cold, i can barely feel my hands and as i got to the stop a bus drove off :-( hmphhh.

this bus stop is so dodgy, all dark and it's making me paraaaaaaa(noid)
owh. work until 9:30. suxxxxx.

definitely cold.

27 December 2011


time seems to being going so quickly, cant believe how fast the holidays are passsing by. in the past couple of days ive managed to gain a tiger pattern onesie (see picture below), a pair of vans (what a suprise), a pair of trousers and probably a bit of weight too (with the fast food ive been eating).

i can tell you're all extremely jealous... its stupidly comfy and incredibly warm.

todays been a bit of a blunder, as was yesterday (almost!)


started with a bit of madness. had to be up at 9:30am to start work @ 11. little to say, office was absolutely rammed. i couldnt move on the shop floor; literal mayhem, people were handing me shoes here there and everywhere and it stayed that way until i finished at 5. the shop was an absolute mess and im stupidly glad i didnt have to stay until we closed so i didnt have to sort it all out. a women rudely stormed at me for apparently "ignoring" her daughter, who i wish a slapped face upon. however, i did sell an awful lot of shoes, so im not complaining at alll.
after work, i went straight to oll's house to spend the night with his family, auntie, uncle and cousins. the night swept away with numerous drinks, bites to eat and a hefty indulge in a piece oft traditional xmas yule log. we played outburst (boys vs. girls) which is always a bad idea because boys cheat and get all competitive. never the less, we had a laugh and i got my onesieeeeeeeeeeeee!


today went on a cheeky little shop for a few bargains, although i only bought some trousers which were half price in the topshop sale (£20). at my own work i purchased another pair of shoes which were in the sale. so grateful tonight was quiet in comparison to yesterday, i had no energy especially after the day i had. after getting to the bus stop at just before 3:30pm, i waited for a bus i expected at 3:46pm. i waited with oll and waited before oll left me and i was left to wait (in the freezing cold). it came to about 4:30pm and the bus i wanted still hadnt come so i got on another bus home before arguing with my dad to pick me up and take me to work, which in turn left me feeling even worse. i was so upset at everythings, just became so frustrated that nothing had gone my way. the world hated me today, and i hated the world.

im watching inception, yet again, absolutely fucking up my mind. its too late to even pay a large amount of attention to it, so im catching a few bits here and again. im absolutely starving but im not in the state of mind to make food, yet alone have i got the energy.

im going to munch on some celebrations, although its difficult with an ulcer under my tongue causing me agony, however, my efforts will not be dampened.

goodnight all, im 18 in 1 month, 10 minutes (thats the 28th of january to you and i). cannot wait.

happy birthday to me.

charlotte x

25 December 2011

another christmas gone.

today ive opened 748362992 presents due to being spoilt to death by oll and my family :-)

now to count down to nye &+ my eighteenth!

merry christmassssss all :-)

Charlotte x

24 December 2011

quiter than expected

so its the day before christmas and i planned to spend 12-5 at work. fortunately it was quiet, so that got cut short and i went home early. well when i say home, before that i mean a trip to mcdonalds.

i didnt expect it but oliver turned up at my front door, so the last few of his presents were passed over to him. we now have matching watches (how gay). chilled and watched matilda before i dip dyed my hair again... (picture to follow).

my routine went a little like this;
1. dye hair
2. go out for a bit
3. dye hair again.

ive been trying to get the ends lighter so thought id dye it a couple of times. so yeah, ello dis is me.

wrapped my moms last few presents and now im, yet again 'chilling' watching the chronicles of narnia. waiting for the hours to tick by so i can shred some wrapping paper and indulge far too heavilyyy.

hope you all have a good christmas,
only one hour thirty minutes to go.

charlotte x

23 December 2011

im so cold

watching titanic. "i love you jack" :-(

merry christmas eve x


past few days have been full of 'activity' and don't take that in the literal sense, i know some people have a dirty mind.

social on wednesday night was a little interesting to say the least. it was totally dead when we got there but then it got started. a few drinks later and everything is absolutely fine. brodie and myself managed to dance a few hours away (without sounding gay) before all the messiness started. fists were flying everywhere. anyway, i wont bore you with the rest of the pointless details.

thursday night i was meant to be going out, but due to copious spending recently and a very small bank balance, i chose not to go. played too much xbox, ate too much chocolate, drank too much squash and caught up on some shut eye. well i tried to sleep but, i had a certain someone snoring next to me and hogging half the bed.

i lose track of time in the holidays, i forget which days are which and i never seem to know when im meant to be where. today, that was no different, i woke up ridiculously late and sprawled in bed most of the day, watched tv and chilled out to the max before coming home after my three day spree at the hawkins' household.

my life actually feels a little like made in chelsea, minus the ridiculously large houses and ridiculously large bank balances. cliche i know but i have such good friends, well close friends, plenty of people i get on with and a boy who makes me stupidly happy. although theres the occasional twists of drama and unecessary words said, my world is still spinning nicely. actually feel like im getting somewhere with what i want to do and im really looking forward to doing my art foundation next year.

im excited for christmas, even though i know the majority of my presents. cant wait for a nice bit of money to go and splash on more clothes that i dont need and stupid amounts of shoessss dammit.

anyway, im gonna leave you with the thought that im watching titanic in bed, in the dark, with a pint of squash. i definately dont lead a sad lifeeeeeeee.

charlotte x

i think

we've all established its two days until christmas. people will not shut up
about the fact it's christmas eve eve.

not that im scrooge or anything! :-)

Charlotte x

18 December 2011

its christmas

today was spent in Birmingham attempting to buy some presents etc. I went with £120 and I've come back with about £7.50. £30 was spent on lunch... me and oll had a curry at "the bombay bicycle club" in selfridges, so you can imagine the prices. oll's managed to spoil me and i unwillingly spent £55 on Xbox games for him.

oll's here for the second night running. and moms not very well. last day of school tomorrow and the only reason im going is due to the fact i need to give Brodie and Naomi their presents and get mine off them. school can think again if they think im going in on

hope everyone's had a festive Sunday, a week/seven days until xmas.

Charlotte x

13 December 2011

time is not a healer.

deep breath

facebook is such a dick at times. x

and this girl is actually hilarious...


charlotte x


this morning i was rudely awaken by oliver texting me at half even or whatever time it was ;-). i just lay there for an hour trying to sleep, but it didnt work until one o'clock before waking up again at twenty to two. im absolutely shattered, so glad i havent gone to school today, general studies is a waste of time and i wouldnt have done any work in my frees when i really needed to get some done.

i've just managed to finish the page i wanted to finish on my art essay, and added a few tweaks to some of my other parts, although im still clueless on the one piece - you can see for yourself...

yeah, as i said. pretty c l u e l e s s. so mr warren's going have a shouting spree at me tomorrow before he actually gets down to helping me sort it out and give me something to write about. y'know because he knows everything. i think ive managed to bullshit my way through the other pieces pretty well though so far and adding pictures is always a great way to take up more and more space that you want to fill. definately works a treat to make it look like youve done more work.

i had my advent chocolate this morning while i was half asleep but, my tummy still managed to rumble enough to get me to move out of bed to get that chocolate. finding number thirteen when youre half asleep is always pretty difficult, especially when your eyes are closed :-)

ive got work tonight the usual tuesday night shift with beth and corrie. however, i really dont want to go outside yet, im too scared to leave the house because it looks absolutely freezing and its so windy. there's some country club opposite my house and theyve got a flag outside; it looks like its going at about one hundred miles an hour. i know thats an exageration but i always freeeeeeze, especially at the bus stop :-( its times like now i wish i could drive, well i can drive but i wish id have already passed my test.

on that note, im going to hurl myself into bed, and wrap myself like a caterpillar in my duvet before i have to get into the shower and get readdddy. eugh. not looking forward to the sudden cold feeling when i get out the shower either.

charlotte x


12 December 2011


its the 12th december, 13 days until christmas, 6 days until my boy is home and with me, 47 days until my 18th birthday. wouldnt mind some of these things over the next couple of months...

feeling christmassy, slowly but surely. my fairy lights are in full force, as is my advent calendar. shame im not so up to date on all my presents... woops. oh well, two weeks to catch up.

currently watching little fockers, and id definately say it follows on very well to meet the fockers. the story is actually class. 'pull my finger' 'double dose of focker.'

feel like i just write about nothingness on here, all the time. because the truth is, i do. i just post what im doing, rather than what i feel, which isnt something i wanted to do, but still. hopefully i'll try and change that, and also keep this more visually dynamic. i apologise if you dont like my blog but, i guess if you dont then you dont necessarily have to read it.

thanks if you do read it though. whats everyone been doing the past few days?
charlotte x

10 December 2011

feels like somethings heating up

so i decided to go on tumblr too, for the first time in a while, and its times like now when i see stuff like this...

...that i actually like tumblr. especially at this time of year. i dont know why i like the second image so much, its so empty that it makes it so full and expressive.

i feel like my blog should be more visually dynamic :-), cant wait to get my new camera (after my dad broke my other slr) so i can post some of my own images for once.

xfactor was a let down tonight, im so sincerely gutted that amelia-lily has gone. not as gutted as i was when janet devlin left however. no doubt i'll probably end up watching the final anyway!

charlotte x

9 December 2011


i apologise i didnt blog yesterday, i spent all day in bed so i thought there was very little to say.

however, today, ive been busy busy busy. i spent my frees this morning making a huge paper chain for our form room (as reqested by mrs turner.) (see picture of luke below.) ended up missing assembly to put the badboy up in formmmmm.

then after a lunch of only cake w. custard, i moved to art where i spent a triple lesson messing around with monoprinting, and drawing ink on top of dried pva. sounds exhilerating, im fully aware....

tonight i had work, after devouring a mcdonalds finest, plain quarter pounder with cheese, large fries (i asked for medium) and a large coke, under £5. love getting maccies vouchers from work, although i think my arteries could do with a rest for a while. smashed tonight at work, took £1200 individually in less than 4 hours, thank you very much; although working until 10:30 dragssssssssss. work again tomorrow 3 - 8:30, saturdays are the craziest!

my night tonight is sorted, slouching and cuddling myself in bed with a packet of skittles and a pint of cold squash, whilst my favourite film ever ('the sound of music') is playing on my screen. oh gosh, forgot how much i love julie andrews in this film, she is quite literally a babe. "doe, ray, me, far, sew, la, tea, doe" :')

hope you all have/had a lovely friday evening,
mine was manic.

sweet dreams,
Charlotte x

7 December 2011

cheeky oatsosimple

you cant live life being second best

today wasn't as bad as expected, didn't get had a go at for my lack of art essay and general studies was spent designing tshirts. winnnner.

currently on the bus home to get changed and eat porridge before i head off to coach badminton six until seven then play badminton until eight.
not bad, but i hate the dark nights.

so excited for when im eighteen, and it's eighteen days until christmas.

au revoir,
Charlotte x

the sky looks so nice at this moment in time (16:47)

stinging eyes

so last night after having a nap, i had to go to work. absolutely smashedddddd it :-) had a suprise visit too haha. i approached a lady and said "are you okay there?" for her son to reply "yeah im fine thanks."
turned out, it was my best friend perry and his mom. i felt like such an idiot, and slightly embarrassed, oh well.
working until half ten takes its toll, especially when the one till is down £ten and we have bags full of change. so much so, we have to put them in a separate bag to all the cash, ridiculously heavy too :-(.

on the way to school at the moment, ready to jump out the car window; really would rather be anywhere but going to school. my eye lids feel like they've got lead weights attached to them. ready for mr warren to have a go this morning because ive forgotten my essay, cbaaaa to listen to it. the intense pain in my shoulder still lingers from yesterday, so i may chop it off :-)

on that really pleasant note, im going to leave you, whilst im forced to listen to some shit old music.

have a good day all,
Charlotte x

6 December 2011

lapse of time

so, today has dragggggged. general studies first thing on a tuesday makes me want to slap myself in the face. then the rest of the day is time i could be spending in bed asleep/cuddled up.
left school early because i had the "doctors" but really mother said she'd pick me up. now im chilling in bed where i belong, until five o'clock when ive gotta leave for work. sob. :-(
also need to do an art essay that i haven't done. seriously, stress. mr warren is going to slap me tomorrow. oh well, too t i r e d, watching america's next top model.

gonna sob at work and sell some

Chatlotte x

5 December 2011


"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it 'cause nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you"."

robert pattinson as tyler, in remember me.
just finished watching this beautiful
movie. it manages to bring a tear to my eye every time :-(

Charlotte x

i really want some strawberry milkshake

"thats all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall closet."

- jonathan safran foer


here are two images i took in chester by the river bridge. i know theyre not the clearest on here but still, thought id just post them up anyhow, to give my blog a more visual element, rather than just letters, spaces, words and punctuation.

Charlotte x

im not the best you could have obtained

so yesterday i managed to conquer the sunday shopping times and buy some clothes for oliver; for christmas. first christmas presents ive bought this year, so far...
watched a ridiculous amount of films; taken, breaking dawn, some weird thing about being abducted by aliens.. don't even ask. cuddled in bed with some popcorn (that was as plain as a sheet of paper) and drank 1.5 litres of ice tea peach flavour.
sleeping in a single bed with another person is so uncontrolably uncomfortable. tossing and turning, trying to get comfy, trying to share a duvet and pillows. its all equal to an awful nights sleep, other than actually being warm for once. hours passed so slowly, it was strange. finally woke up at 10, to fall back asleep and to wake up 11:04. breakfast didn't exist - survived my day on erm, a starbucks, ribena and some custard creams, oh and a pack of crisps.

chilled before going up town to be turned into an icicle by the vile, strong wind :-(

then, again, lunch didn't exist (out of choice.) and i was sick, eugh :-(

went to a place called handbridge, which again was freezing. got this cute shot on my instax of a lamp on the river bridge before returning to get a gingerbread latte from starbucks.

back to the house after that for a quick last minute check id got everything. dont want to go home, it's horrible every time i leave chester, think ive fallen in love with the place, just a little!
sat on the train wishing i wasn't heading home, wishing i could just stay there foreverrrrrrr with my boy. it's hard not to get upset, especially when i have nothing to take my mind off everything i don't want to think about. school tomorrow too just makes this feeling sink even further in. not even cosmopolitan can change that, or food. just want my boy, some more films, and to be back in chester. (and to not be going home)

had such a nice couple of days, wish it could have been longer.

feeling drained and down. sulking on the train :-( listening to two door cinema club to try cheer me up but it simply isn't working.

Charlotte x

4 December 2011


managed to change train correctly, hopefully im heading in the right direction, to get off at chester, at 11:11 :-)
got a lady next to me eagerly writing about plants and herbs while im here reading cosmopolitan. definitely feel like im showing up the youth culture....
on the train from crewe i had some drunk stoke fans staring at me, put me on edge, just a little. oh well here goes.
with jessie j in my ears, im on route to where i want to go, hope you all enjoy your not so beautiful sunday. it's twenty one days until christmas.

Charlotte x


so, i was up at 8:14. that shouldn't be allowed on sundays, oliver better appreciate this. changing trains today could be a little interesting to say the least, almost petrified at the thought of getting on the wrong train :-(

it's now 9:14 and im casually sitting in my dads new car on the way to the station. need to get: tickets & a magazine to read, preferably vogue? :-)

everytime i unlock my phone i have the sheer pleasant suprise of rob pattinson as my background, yes please.

i'll update you upon my adventures as i go :-) have a nice day all, this journey is going to be long.

Charlotte x

3 December 2011


after a five and a half hour shift at work, my feet are actually refusing to withstand my body weight, both they, and i, are absolutely
s h a t t e r e d.
not long watched x factor, and i still cant believe janet's gone :-( but from this point onwards, i wish amelia lily to be crowned championnnnn. watching im a celebrity at the moment, dougie poynter you are god. youve just managed to eat penis and your still absolutely beautiful. (definately my kind of man after claiming food is better than sex.) mark isnt too bad either, infact, ive grown almost fond. these pair are so cute, its unbelievable.
tomorrow im off to chester to spend a couple of days lazing around with oliver, living life like a student. no doubt i'll get there, having forgotten something thats a necesity. maybe buy a few christmas presents (if i can actually afford/think of anything.) i know i wont want to leave, i never want to leave anywhere when i manage to get away from home. not seeing oll for two weeks, is such a burden. time goes so slowly, when i want it to go faster, and it goes too fast when i wish it'd slow down. i hate how the world works against us.
kinda gutted, almost dissapointed, that im not going to uni next year but, im so excited to start my art foundation. art is such a good way of expressing myself, cant express how much passion i have for the subject.
I JUST LIKE EXPRESSING MYSELF (not only in art, but music, fashion etc.)
you may or may not know, im a bit different when it comes to fashion. i dont follow the crowd at all, i dress how i like, although it may not be to everyones taste, i like being the individual i am. i never wish to hide away behind clothes and trends that are like that of everyone else.

"being different is being remembered."

Charlotte x

(ps, twenty-two days until christmas.)

please, anyone?

Charlotte x

2 December 2011

weekend blitz

i can finally open another window on this....
christmas is getting ever closer and i can't wait, although, time seems to be dragging slowly. (note to self, must. buy. presents. soon.) tonight i've managed to set this up, after falling asleep for an hour or so & now im watching a film i have no idea about but, what i do know is that Russell Brand looks beautiful as ever. work tomorrow should be jam packed, 3-8/30 always goes quickly, especially when it's busy. im so tired but so awake at the same time, but there's something i like about this feeling, got a bit of an 'edge' to it? that sounds so strange hahaha. i wish i was more concrete in decision making, im the worst at coming to a conclusion when it's necessary. however, i have chosen to get up ridiculously early on sunday morning to go and see Oliver, that's dedication, because i miss him.
im gonna end on a note of excitement, for me anyway, maybe not you.
hope you all sleep well, if you're not already asleep and enjoy your weekend break, away from the world of school qualifications.
23 days until christmas,

Charlotte x

just another thing!

if you wish to follow me/add me as a contact:

twitter - imbraindead
tumblr - imbraindead
flickr - varmxx

thank you :-)
charlotte x

please note

so, i've decided to make this.

i plan on using this page to post thoughts, pictures, and just generally as a place to let words (/feelings) escape from my mind; maybe a little bit of photography too?
i'm aware so far it's a bit lack-luster, but i'll try and slowly fill the gaps. hopefully it'll become something people enjoy reading, but if not then so be it, its really a space to express myself...